5 practical tips for managing stress
17.9.2020
As sex workers, we give a lot of energy to clients, and if we don't take the time to reset ourselves and give ourselves back, we can end up pretty quickly.
Combustion is no joke. I went there and did it. I know I'm slipping into burnout mode because whatever clients do will bother me, even when it doesn't normally bother me.
Today I'm going to share some tips that helped me move from that annoying state to the edge of your hair.
#1 MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
The first thing I do is take some time for myself to reset and get all my thoughts out. This could be by jotting down how I feel or venting to my partner or friend.
Sometimes I like to do a reckless task like showering, cleaning, or cooking, and I allow my breath to run wild. This is like venting to a friend; Except that I vent myself. Let me know how I feel. Once I finish the task, let go of the thoughts and move on.
We all know how to make ourselves feel better. For me, it's a catharsis for someone else or me. For you, it might be different. But the trick is actually to make time for yourself to do these things. So, make sure to spend a few minutes after you're done to engage in whatever will help you de-stress.
#2 ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU’RE STRESSED & THAT’S OKAY
We live in a world that pays homage to a "noisy" mentality. We believe we should be "in" all the time and work 100%, otherwise, we are not human beings worth it. We feel less than if we weren't as productive as we'd like.
The truth is, if you were nervous about how nervous you were, you would continue to feel nervous. It's okay that you're nervous. It's good if you find this particular client too annoying or that you don't get along with your partner. It's good and normal to feel nervous sometimes. Don't press yourself about it.
#3 IDENTIFY WHAT’S CAUSING YOU STRESS
There are two ways to categorize stressors: internal (for example, expectations of yourself, poor self-esteem, thinking that you are not good enough, etc.) or external (such as relationships, work, environmental factors, etc.)
If your pressures are internal, you may need to make an effort to change the way you relate to yourself. Circle the head to Tip # 1 - You know what helps you feel better. You know how to support yourself. Make sure you do these things and be nice to yourself.
If your stressors are external, it is time to make some changes in your life. If the relationship is making you unhappy, it may be time to consider whether this person is worth keeping. If you feel so nervous every time you see one annoying customer pushing boundaries, ...
Take a moment to identify and write down the causes of your stress.
#4 AVOIDANCE VS ACTIVE COPING
There are two ways people deal with stress:
Avoidance: Reduces the direct impact of a laborer at a cost;
Active confrontation: rational evaluation of our ability to manage stress as best we can and plan for effective firing, effective firing, and firing.
I don't know about you, but I am definitely shy. Rather than dealing with and managing stressors, I tend to avoid what I'm feeling until it builds up and explodes at an unattended time. This is clearly an unhealthy and unhelpful way of dealing with things. In an ideal world, we would all be actively engaged (and maybe even the least contentious in the world).
So how do we cope effectively rather than avoid it?
#5 ACTIVE COPING IN ACTION
There is a big difference between knowledge and actual work. So, let's go back to your list of stressful causes that you created earlier. I want you to write what you're currently doing to deal with this pressure and how it makes you feel. Next, I want you to write about how you can change your behavior to be more active.
For example ...
Cause of stress: A regular customer constantly pays for personal details during reservations, which makes me uncomfortable and in dread about upcoming reservations.
Current adaptation mechanism: Ignore customer text messages when inquiring about a reservation.
This makes me feel: Tense because I know I'll eventually need to respond to it; - Worried every time I get a text message because I'm afraid it might be him; - I get annoyed more than other clients ask me questions, even though they don't cross the line the way it is.
To be more active in this state, I can: - Send a text message to the customer and tell him his questions make me uncomfortable, and offer to meet him for a reservation if he respects my limits; - Send a text message to the customer and tell him that I no longer want to see him because he has crossed my limits; Blocking the customer number so that I don't feel anxious every time I receive a text message.
Which of the three "active" solutions that I have come up with would be a better way of overcoming them than avoiding the hypothetical because they allow me to solve the situation, and thus the psychological pressure.
Experiment and see how you feel about resolving some of the stressors in your life.
